Careers, Relationships, and Other Comical Notions

The day I turned 20 was murky with the haze of a quarter life crisis. From everything I had heard about this decade of my life, I concluded that it would be a wild and nonsensical ride. While some friends would be married with toddlers, I would probably only just be coming out of grad school. In a short time, my life could become vastly different as many milestones seem to happen in a person’s 20s. Three years later—I will be turning 23 soon—I still have no clue what the future holds, but I am a little more confident that I will pull through my tumultuous 20s like countless others. 

Self-help books have become all too common on my reading lists these past few years. I read Eat, Pray, Love and soaked it up like every other poor soul who would probably not being taking a years hiatus to travel around the world. I read Wild, The Happiness Project, and countless others which I loved and hoped would change my life. However, I began to exhaust my options and turned to books with titles along the lines of “50 Things Successful Women Do” that really felt like an essay for a women’s studies class. I really began to realize how little these words impacted me. 

In order to change my tune, I turned from some books that were less stoic and preachy to ones that were more comical. For no reason whatsoever, I ended up reading a couple books by a very specific author type: female comics. I was never a big SNL person and usually never get any references my friends make to vines, so I had no particular connection to comedians. So why did I pick comedians to give me life lessons? Because they made me laugh of course! 

First, I read Amy Poehler’s Yes Please. The book is broken up into three general sections: say whatever you want, do whatever you like, be whoever you are. It was not one line or one idea that made me love this book, it was Amy Poehler’s overall confidence. Amy Poehler was going to tell you what’s what and why she was right. I did something very cruel but necessary as I read this book; I questioned Amy Poehler the way I questioned myself. Why did she get to be so confident? She didn’t go to Harvard. She doesn’t have a Michelin Star restaurant. She isn’t working on the cure for cancer. It didn’t take long to realize that I wasn’t actually questioning Amy Poehler, I was questioning myself. I was focusing too much on what Amy and I did not do that I was distracted from what we did do. In the end, I told myself, if Amy Poehler can be confident, so can I. This idea was less to pick on Amy Poehler and more to help myself realize that confidence can deviate from being stemmed in perfectionism to being stemmed in a belief about yourself. Thank you Amy Poehler, I thought as I closed Yes Please and started to watch Parks and Rec. 

Favorite Quote: “Change is the only constant. Your ability to navigate and tolerate change and it’s painful uncomfortableness directly correlates to you happiness and general well-being. See what I just did there? I saved you thousands of dollars on self-help books” (Poehler 279-280). 

Next, and almost a year later, I read Tina Fey’s Bossypants. If Amy Poehler taught me that I should have confidence, Tina Fey taught me specifically to have confidence. While I could never fully compare myself to Tina Fey, I saw a lot of myself in her from her introversion to her dark hair, glasses, and not-a-size-two body type. Early on in the book, Tina Fey drops this deep seated pet peeve: “Let’s talk about the hair. Why do I call it ‘yellow’ hair and not ‘blond’ hair? Because I’m pretty sure everybody calls my hair ‘brown.’ When I read fairy tales to my daughter I always change the word ‘blond’ to ‘yellow,’ because I don’t want her to think that blond hair is somehow better” (Fey 21). Yeah, brunette power! Tina Fey was very real with me in Bossypants and made herself out to be a regular person instead of a celebrity with whom I would have nothing in common. Due to this connection I developed with Tina Fey, I once again told myself, if she can make it, so can I. Thank you Tina Fey, I thought as I closed Bossypants and started to watch 30 Rock. 

Finally, I just finished reading Mindy Kaling’s Why Not Me?. Mindy’ Kaling’s book was broken up into four general sections: for the ladies; take this job and love it; love, dating, and bigs who ru(i)n the world; all the opinions you will ever need. What was great for me about this book is that it talked about boys! Believe me, by no mean do I need to talk about relationships all the time. However, hearing Mindy Kaling talk about men in her life was refreshing after the prior books where careers and husbands seemed to be in complete separate vacuums. Did I mention that I am in my 20s panic? Well, part of that panic is that I will not get engaged in a timely fashion, if at all. Enter Mindy Kaling: a successful and gorgeous writer, comic, and actress. She was having issues with relationships too? Alright, maybe my issues are not so unique after all. I think being candid about her love life allowed me to see that I can be successful in a career and still have a relationship. Being worried about relationships does not make me unprofessional, it makes me human. Thank you Mindy Kaling, I thought as I closed Why Not Me? and started to watch The Office (even though I paused The Office an episode later—I am sorry, but I could just simply never get the hang of its awkward, slow humor). 

Hey, I only take advice from comedians now, that doesn’t mean I’m becoming one. 

Bibliography

Fey, Tina. Bossypants. New York, NY. Reagan Arthur Books/Little, Brown and Company 

Hachette Book Group, 2011.

Kaling, Mindy. Why Not Me? New York, NY, Three Rivers Press, 2015.

Poehler, Amy. Yes Please. New York, NY, Harper Collins, 2014.